My First Love

It's been almost two years since I've been to a concert. Far too long. I've forgotten how much I miss live music. Something about feeling the vibrations and the whole atmosphere that soothes me. I love being in the presence of others who are just as passionate about the band as I am. That doesn't happen to me here in Springfield. People like music here, sure, but its more of a love for Katy Perry or Blake Shelton. Soooo not my thing!!

I didn't make it to any shows last year. Guess I was too busy planning for Ezri's arrival to get to any. But I'm making up for it now! Last week, I saw Trampled by Turtles with my husband and brother. They're a Minnesota band I've always loved! I love local music :) Plus it was an outdoor show and the weather couldn't have been better. Bonus!

Last Thursday, I made the trip to Minneapolis with a couple friends to see Silversun Pickups, Atlas Genius, and School of Seven Bells. They all put on an amazing show!! God I love them. I'm so glad they made a stop in MN. Silversun Pickups was missing one of their key members (Nikki had her last show the week before. She's very pregnant right now, so we all understand!!) but you wouldn't know it. Her replacement was great. And I even scored Ezri a SSPU onesie! I know it's a little weird, but "Lazy Eye" totally reminds me if her. I think it was on the playlist I made for her birth and that one just stuck.

Music truly is my first love. The right song can instantly change my mood. I so wish I had any time of musical talent. Now if only I could figure out a way to make a career out of this passion of mine....maybe as a photo editor for a record label? Rolling Stone? Any ideas???

Here's a few shots from the shows:

Vote {NO}

Here in Minnesota, we will be voting on an amendment to define marriage between one man and one woman come November. I am a huge opponent to this amendment, and I'd like to ask all my readers to Vote No (laws regarding gay marriage are also on ballots in Maine, Maryland, and Washington this year).

I leave in a teeny tiny little Hamlet of a town, very conservative, and very religious. Well, they think they are religious anyway. I say that because I have a hard time believing their "God" would condone such hateful and judgmental behavior. I consider myself a recovering Catholic for many reasons. The largest one being that I always felt scared, judged, or that I wasn't good enough for the fellow church-goers. We were taught not to do things out of love or kindness, but out of fear. They do not commit sins because if they do we will go to hell, not because it's simply the "right thing to do". Now that I am older, I am able to recognize that just because someone goes to Church every Sunday, that does not mean they are a good person. In fact, I've found the opposite to be true. I don't think that people can be mean, horrible, malicious people six days a week only to confess their sins come Sunday and all is well again. That's not how it works for me. I am a good person, and I found myself being judged frequently simply because I am not a member of a Church. Or because we choose not to baptize our daughter. Really, if I could, I would go back and un-baptize, un-confirm myself, and I certainly would not have gotten married in a Catholic church.

How does this all relate to gay marriage?

Well, I've found that local churches have been handing out "Vote Yes" yard signs. Which in a way makes me happy to know that people are probably only putting them in their yards simply because they are readily available (the closest place to get a "Vote No" sign is an hours' drive). But still. And a much bigger point: Why are these organizations granted non-profit status?? That should certainly be revoked. I read in the St. Cloud Times a few months ago that the St. Cloud Diocese donated $50,000 to support this amendment. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm guessing $50,000 could have gone a loooooong way in fighting homelessness, starvation, lack of clean water, etc. But instead they chose to spend it on spreading hate. The exact opposite of what a Church should stand for.  This is a political issue, not a religious one. Nobody is forcing the Church to perform gay marriages. Rule #1: Separation of Church and State. Who's ignoring the constitution now?

Every time I see one of these "Vote Yes" signs it makes my blood boil. Who are these people? What makes them better than anyone else? Why are they so quick to judge, when I'm sure they have their own issues to deal with? Being gay is a birth trait; it can't be controlled any more than your eye color. It cannot be changed. Nor should it! We are a diverse nation and each person brings something to the table of value. I honestly believe that.

I still can't believe we are fighting this fight. I almost want to go around and take pictures of everyone next to their "Vote Yes" signs. I think they would be comparable to all the protestors of the 1950s fighting civil rights. They will look just as nutso as these people do now. But, then I think I would be one of them. I don't need to sink to their level, no matter how difficult that is for me!

All in all, it only makes me what to do the whole surrogacy thing more and more. I've always said that if my pregnancy & delivery went smoothly, I would like to be a surrogate. I'm only one vote when it comes to this amendment, but if I could give a couple (or 2, or 3 or....) a child, I could fill their lives with so much love and joy that maybe it would outweigh all the hurt and pain they've had to go through in their lives. It's the only way I see myself making a significant difference. I WILL be doing it, hopefully sooner rather than later.

Here's a link from a Letter to the Editor of the Newspaper in New Ulm which makes some good points:

Marriage Amendment - NUJournal.com | News, Sports, Jobs - The Journal, New Ulm, MN


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yum. food.

Before I got pregnant, I knew gave much thought to breastfeeding. Every baby I had ever known had gotten formula. Most mothers hadn't even tried breastfeeding. So that was always my plan too. I mean, why put yourself through that? I just didn't get it.

Then I got pregnant. Started doing research. Not only on the health benefits of breastfeeding, but also the cost of formula. And I discovered quite a few people in my life that had breastfed their children. I decided I was determined to do it, even if it was only during my maternity leave.

I'll admit, I had a lot of skeptics. No one expected it to last. And I was very cautious when the subject came up. I'd say things like "Well, I'm going to TRY." or "We'll see how it works". Even when she was a couple months old, I'd hear "So when do you start giving her formula?" like it was absolutely essential for her survival. That's where our society is now! They forget babies have been feed for centuries by milk, not formula!

In preparation, I read a few books and found some sources in case I ran into problems. Luckily, the hospital where I delivered was great. They asked if I planned on breastfeeding shortly after I was admitted, and that was that. No one tried to give her formula and all the nurses were great. Christy, bless her heart, was my labor and delivery nurse. She was a-mazing. Seriously. Not even just for the delivery, but she helped me nurse Ezri when she was about 45 minutes old. I love that woman.

We met with the lactation consultant the day she was born and then again after we were discharged, when Ezri was three days old. That morning, my milk came in. And did it ever! She advised me to go directly to the home medical equipment store and purchase a pump or I would be in pain in a few hours. So glad I did ($280 later, and numerous calls to my insurance company, each time with a different answer regarding coverage for such supplies, grrrr). It was so worth it. I know I was supposed to let my supply match Ezri's demand, but I was so concerned about drying up I thought the more I had stored in the freezer the better (no worries- I found a local woman with supply issues that was happy to take the extra off my hands).

I could not imagine feeding Ezri any other way. No that we didn't have a few hiccups. We had some trouble getting her to take a bottle, but as long as I wasn't the one trying to feed it to her, she came around. I also had a bit of scare when I thought she might have a sensitivity to dairy (no ice cream?! ahhhh!) but that was my imagination running wild. Oh, and I managed to get a case of Mastitis at about 2 weeks, probably caused by my oversupply. Even that wasn't so bad though, once the fever went down! She gets the best possible food for her, no tummy troubles, I managed to drop all the baby weight before I even went back to work (and another 10 lbs since then) and we've saved quite a bit of cash. I wonder if more people would consider breastfeeding if WIC didn't cover formula? No that I'm against programs like WIC, just a thought.

So here we are, 10 months in, and still going strong. I have no plans to stop. Although I am looking forward to the days when I won't have to consider how accessible my shirt is when I get dressed in the morning!

.b.